A Prank from Hobbiton!
by NarniaTolkienNerd
Summary: Fili and Kili rope Bilbo into helping them prank Dwalin! Bilbo tells them of a prank he used on his cousin back in the Shire. Let's just say Dwalin is not going to enjoy his desert as much as he thought he would.
**First published fanfiction! I hope you enjoy! This one-shot is set during the Quest between setting off from Bag End and Rivendell.**

Bilbo did not know how they did it, but they did. Those two troublemakers convinced him to prank Dwalin!

It was a nice day in the woods, and the company of dwarves Bilbo was traveling with was camped for the night in a small clearing. It was a normal evening for them, Oin and Gloin were lighting a fire, Dwalin and Thorin were sharpening their weapons, Bofur and Bombur worked on starting to cook dinner, and everyone else was trying to find the best spot on the ground to sleep on. Bilbo was starting to get used to these traveling companions, and had finally submitted himself to the idea he was on an adventure. Thankfully Gandalf was there, otherwise Bilbo would have felt like a complete outsider. Of course he was starting to make friends with some of the dwarves, such as Fili, Kili, and Bofur. Unfortunately, it was Fili and Kili who were constantly trying to convince Bilbo to help them play a prank of one of the older dwarves, preferably Dwalin. They said it was a good way to cheer him up. Of course, Bilbo didn't believe them, and refused to help those rascals prank the fearsome dwarf.

"Ok, how about this Bilbo. You teach us a prank you hobbits do in the Shire, and we can test it to see how good it actually is." Fili reasoned with Bilbo.

"Yes please!" Kili said energetically at Fili's side.

Bilbo smiled at memories of the few pranks he did when he was a child. "Well my lads, there was this one time when I gave my cousin Otho a delicious looking piece of honey cake that I had filled the center with an edible weed we call Rat Weed. This weed tastes absolutely dreadful. I gave this to Otho and walked off to a safer distance to watch." Bilbo paused here for effect, "when Otho took a big bite into the cake, I am sure all of Hobbiton heard him. Dear me it was a most amusing sight! He had his tongue out as he was trying to wipe away the taste from his mouth. I remember to this day, Otho's eyes were practically bulging they were so wide! I laughed hard that day. Of course he ran off to drink something and was perfectly fine within the hour."

Fili and Kili were grinning broadly. Bilbo could clearly see the two of them scheming in their minds.

"Well," Fili began, "it's no surprise you Hobbits would think of pranks involving food. Is there any chance you could find that weed here?"

"Now see here," Bilbo said as he tried to look stern, "I am not going to take part in a prank that will make the others resent me even more than they already do. Don't look at me like that, you know it's true."

Kili just smirked conspiratorially, "You won't get in trouble, we can just say it's from Bombur. Plus, me and Fili would be the ones to give it to him, not you. It's perfectly safe!"

Bilbo groaned, wishing Fili and Kili would stop pestering him. Bilbo now regretted telling them the story about Otho.

"And besides, we will stop asking you to help us with pranks. Promise! Otherwise, me and Kili could just keep bothering you all night until you say yes." Fili reasoned.

Bilbo sighed. "Fine! Only if you would stop pestering me!" He looked around "I would not think the weed can be found here, but that does not mean we cannot find something else that tastes very bad. Let's go see what Bombur has."

With that the three of them started "helping" Bombur cook. Well, this meant Bilbo was doing all the cooking and Fili and Kili were trying to act normal, and failing.

Later that evening supper was served and after that, a desert was passed around. The dwarves were excited to have desert because they usually did not get any. What no one knew was that Bilbo had made the desert and that he had stuffed multiple bad tasting herbs into the piece that would be passed to Dwalin.

About two minutes later a very loud "Fili, Kili, I knew that was you!" was heard through the camp. This was Fili and Kili's cue to make themselves scarce. Bilbo bit back a smile, Dwalin's face was much funnier than Otho's.

 **Please review and tell me if you found that funny. Review if you saw ways of improvement. Basically, I love reviews. I really hope you thought this was funny. Thanks!**


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